Try some Lexol Leather Cleaner followed by their Conditioner.
The wrinkles won't totally disappear, but they will tend to be minimized somewhat.
Short of putting more 'stuffing' behind it to stretch it out some, that's the best advice I can give you.
I like to treat my Accord seats twice a year or so, just to keep them happy.
As to the post wear, only careful release of the seat belt is going to help there I'm afraid.
Yeah, that's "normal" leather wear and wrinkling. Look at it this way: if it were vinyl, it would be cracked. (That's what happened to our '99 Acura's seats after 12 years or so. They were "Leather Seating Surfaces", and that edge part was vinyl.)
You could check out one of the leather rejuvenation sites.
We have used the products from www.leatherique.com
It is a natural thing with leather in use. Not to worry. Try my favorite, Meguiar's Leather Cleaner Conditioner. I apply several times a year following directions.
The pillar issue is because of being scuffed repeatedly. I have used a Scotch-Brite pad (http://multimedia.3m.com/mws/media/347828O/scotch-brite-hand-pads.pdf). Select one that is finer and use a vinyl conditioner spray to wet the pillar and lightly wipe over the area. It will only scrum off the plastic fibres that stick out, making the pillar a little more pleasing visually. Not a cure but a help.
No offense, but those seats need a serious cleaning and conditioning. Pick yourself up either of the kits below, along with the cockpit brush that I have also linked below. You need to keep them clean and give them some conditioner on a regular basis.