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Jokes to bring a smile

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I think this Forum needs a Joke section.


I'll start:



Brian lives in California. He was sick of the world, of Covid-19, Inflation, Russian belligerence, China, global warming, racial tensions, high crime, school shootings, and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.

Brian drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all the windows, selected his favorite radio station, started the car and revved it to a slow idle.

Two days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling Brian from the car.

A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.​
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· Everything in Moderation
2006 CR-V EX, 5MT
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Discussion Starter · #90 ·
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Miss Iris drives a Catterac. Don’t mess with her. She has contacts.
She has perfect vision. (She’s lookin’ good.)
She is steady and well-rounded.
She gives unending gratitude to 𝛑 for helping her maintain her solid spherical surface and volume.
She never gets cross but she does look down on people.
The word “vitreous” always makes her laugh.
She has an eye-phone and eats at Eye Hop.
She’s a ball at a party and she has x-rated vision.
She stands on the corner a lot. She has extended vision there.
She also likes to go to the ocean often to see sea shells by the sea shore.
She has a sister named Siri. Siri’s very popular. She’s more into hearing then vision. Siri is a good listener. Perhaps you’ve spoken to her.
When their names are juxtaposed it looks like a palindrome (IRISSIRI) but it’s not.
She has a floater when she can’t teach because she has a floater.
She had a boyfriend named Itch. He irritated her so she had to stop seeing him.
So she’s looking. She has her eye out for someone with vision; someone with whom she would make a great pair - the apple of her eye.

She may have her eye on you!
 

· Premium Member
2017 CRV Touring - Pearl White w Black Interior
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10,698 Posts
My wife asked me to hand her lipstick to her the other night. I handed her the glue stick by mistake. She still isn't talking to me. :LOL:
:ROFLMAO:

So... hows life going for you on the couch? :geek:

Also... I would be leary of taking anything she hands you unless you first check it for deposits of fresh super glue. :D
 

· Premium Member
2017 CRV Touring - Pearl White w Black Interior
Joined
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10,698 Posts
I'm warning you, if you laughed at the bar joke above, I have many more!



A parasite walks into a bar.​
The bartender says, "your kind isn't welcome here."​
The parasite frowns and says, "Well, you're not a very good host."​
You definitely "got a million of them" it seems. :D
 
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